Post by ann on Jun 1, 2008 10:33:29 GMT 2
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and>>>> after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:>>>> "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time>>>> I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.>>>> I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless>>>> I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.>>>> I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing>>>> when I want with my old buddies, and don't you>>>> give me a hard time about it.>>>> Those are my rules. Any comments?">>>>>> His new bride said:>>>> "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex>>>> here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not.">>>> (************************************************>>> Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th >> wedding>> anniversary!>>>>>>>> The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone>>>> that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!">>>>>>>> "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone>>>> that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!">>>> *****************************************
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast>> table.>>>> Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no>>>> good in bed either," and storms out of the house.>>>>>>>> Aft er some time he realizes he was nasty and>>>> decides to make amends and rings her up.>>>> She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband>>>> says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?">>>>>> She says, "I was in bed.">>>>>> "In bed this early, doing what?">>>>>> "Getting a second opinion!">>>>>> *****************************************
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.>>>> He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his>>>> wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.>>>>>>>> One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it is time to go >> home>>>>>> and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts>>>> at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?">>>>>>>> His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,>>>> shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four
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THE SILENT TREATMENT>>>> A man and his wife were having some problems at home>>>> and were giving each other the silent treatment.>>>> Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife>>>> to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.>>>> Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on >> a>> piece>>>> of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would>> find it.>>>> The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it>>>> was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.>>>>>>>> Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when >> he>>>> noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. >> Wake>> up.">>>>>>>> *****************************************
God may have created man before woman, but there>>>> is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.>>>>>> ************** ***************************
Send this to smart women who need a laugh>>>> and to men you think can handle it>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Cheers Ann
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast>> table.>>>> Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no>>>> good in bed either," and storms out of the house.>>>>>>>> Aft er some time he realizes he was nasty and>>>> decides to make amends and rings her up.>>>> She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband>>>> says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?">>>>>> She says, "I was in bed.">>>>>> "In bed this early, doing what?">>>>>> "Getting a second opinion!">>>>>> *****************************************
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.>>>> He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his>>>> wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.>>>>>>>> One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it is time to go >> home>>>>>> and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts>>>> at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?">>>>>>>> His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,>>>> shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four
****************************************
THE SILENT TREATMENT>>>> A man and his wife were having some problems at home>>>> and were giving each other the silent treatment.>>>> Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife>>>> to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.>>>> Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on >> a>> piece>>>> of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would>> find it.>>>> The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it>>>> was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.>>>>>>>> Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when >> he>>>> noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. >> Wake>> up.">>>>>>>> *****************************************
God may have created man before woman, but there>>>> is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.>>>>>> ************** ***************************
Send this to smart women who need a laugh>>>> and to men you think can handle it>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Cheers Ann
