Mick was in court for a double murder

[Fenlander]

Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, "You are
charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner."

A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You b*stard!"

The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your
mother-in-Law to death with a spanner."


Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You ****ing
b*stard!!!"

The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom, and
said, "Paddy, I can understand your anger and frustration at this
crime, but will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall
charge you with contempt! Now what is the problem?"

Paddy, at the back of the court stood up and responded, "For fifteen
years I lived next door to that b*stard. And every time I asked to
borrow a
****ing spanner, he said he didn't have one!"